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Episode 107: Fitness/transcript
Oh! I want to see everybody on their feet, in the pink And full of beans! Or not. Somebody roll the opening titles! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Hi, there, and welcome to tonight's show. Didn't you get the message? You're supposed to be wearing a pith helmet. He's like that. When we go to a nice restaurant, he refuses to put on a tie. We're dressing tropical Because later we're showing a timely tale of the jungle Called "The song of the cloud forest."  five years without a date And I'm acting like everything's hunky-dory. Don't blame yourself. But first, "Muppetelevision" with Kermit the Frog in charge. Kermit, what have you got? Our very special guest star is smokey robinson. What's the theme? The theme is "Health in all its aspects." Like, for instance, sickness. ( starts to sneeze ) Aaah... Choo! Digit, good grief, you've got a cold? ( blows nose ) It's a bad one, too. I just blew my nose, a fuse and three circuit breakers. It was a mystery. They all seemed alike. Which one had the fewest calories? The answer was staring at me. New ultimate 90. The lowest calories per ounce. Mmm, deliciously fruity. Weight watchers ultimate 90. This is living. Kkw?  but bird, you don't understand. I passed out I don't know where I got this book And I've got this big lump on my head. No excuses, link. Kermit wants everybody out for a jog Around the parking lot. Let's go. It looks like a medical dictionary. See what it says about lumps on the head. Oh! I've got all the symptoms! Lumps on the head Bouts of unconsciousness and amnesia. Vicky! ( screams ) I've got canadian snout fever! ( melodramatic chords play ) Excuse me, but I've got to find smokey robinson. "In extreme cases Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.76,0:04:28.26,default,,0,0,0,,{\a1\pos(123,460 The victim hears strange noises and voices." Where is everybody? ( screams ) Hey, link... Oh, no! They know my name! Everybody, follow me into the control room. Nothing like a jog around the parking lot To put mind and body in perfect harmony. We're ready for the opening number. Where is everybody? You should be in the recording studio. Kermit, is this the band I'm using for my song? Yeah, we're just trying to get in shape. You're in shape-- bad shape. Got that right. Sorry I'm late. I went around twice. Way to go, clifford. Now, ladies and gentlemen-- if you're ready back there-- Here's smokey robinson and solid foam! ♪ just to see her ♪ ♪ just to touch her ♪ ♪ just to hold her in my arms again ♪ ♪ one more time ♪ ♪ if I could feel her warm embrace ♪ ♪ see her smiling face ♪ ♪ can't find anyone to take her place ♪ ♪ I've got to see her again ♪ ♪ I would do anything ♪ ♪ I would go anywhere ♪ ♪ there's nothing I wouldn't do ♪ ♪ just to see her again ♪ ♪ just to see her again ♪ ♪ I can't hide it, no ♪ ♪ I can't fight it, oh ♪ ♪ it's so hard to live without the love she gave to me ♪ ♪ doesn't she know it? ♪ ♪ I've tried hard not to show it, ooh ♪ ♪ can't I make her realize that she ♪ ♪ really needs me again? ♪ ♪ I would do anything ♪ ♪ I would go anywhere ♪ ♪ there's nothing I wouldn't do ♪ ♪ just to see her again ♪ ♪ just to see her again ♪ ♪ oooh... ♪ ♪ I would do anything ♪ ♪ I would go anywhere ♪ ♪ there's nothing I wouldn't do ♪ ♪ just to see her again ♪ ♪ just to see her again ♪ ♪ she brightens up my every day ♪ ♪ makes me feel so good in every way ♪ ♪ if I could have her back to stay ♪ ♪ today... ♪ ♪ I've got to see her again ♪ ♪ I've got to see her again ♪ ♪ oooh... ♪ ♪ it would, it would, it would ♪ ♪ just to see her ♪ ♪ make me feel so good ♪ ♪ just to see her ♪ ♪ if I, if I could only see her again ♪ ♪ just to see her again ♪ ♪ oooh... ♪ ♪ there's nothing I wouldn't do ♪ ♪ just to see her ♪ ♪ don't you know it's true? ♪ ♪ just to see her ♪ ♪ if I could only see her again ♪ ♪ just to see her again ♪ ♪ I've got to see her again. ♪ Good stuff, smokey. Way to go! Uh, gonzo... It's all right, kermit. I was just cleaning my nose And it went off. ( laughs ) Aaaah... Aaaah... Aaaaaaaahhh... Chooo! Digit, how's your cold? I've got a cold. I can't hear you. How do you feel? Oh, how do I feel? Well, usually I just stretch my arms out And do squinchy things with my fingers. And then sometimes I do kind of... Oh, patty stuff. And then, I... Oh, kermit, I am sorry. I was doing squinchy things on your eyeballs. It was relaxing In a nerve-racking sort of way. Why, thank you. Digit, can we see the exercise show? Certainly. Oh...! How do I feel? Just push the button. Yes, sir. Welcome to "Beanacise"-- The only exercise program on earth Designed to make you cute. Now, follow me, everybody. Two, three, four... Jump and press and press and jump! Don't just sit there like a lump! And hop, hop, hop, hoppity-hop! Hop, hop, hop, hoppity-hop! Hippity-hop, hippity-hop, hippity-hop... Keep that up And you'll have a heart attack Before the show's over! I certainly hope so. Hip, hip, hip... ( laughs ) It's the bunny hug! Let's try one for the... No, that's not... ( gasps ) Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha! That was great! The show? No, I just swallowed my teeth. ( laughing ) Mr. Link-- What are you doing in that wheelchair? It's one of the symptoms of canadian snout fever. The legs go. How dreadful! Your legs are gone? No, but I don't want to be standing up when they do. I have some pride. That's one of those silly diseases. It may be silly to you-- you're not dying from it. Gosh, mr. Hogthrob You're looking a bit glum. Leave me alone. Says here I've only hours to live. Those hours can be hours of fun. I have just the thing for you. Say hello to mr. Balloon. What's that, mr. Balloon? You want to know what's wrong With our friend? Let's ask him. I know what mr. Balloon wants to know! It's only a matter of hours before my snout explodes. ( explosion ) Aw, too bad. My snout... Well, looks like your new friend Had to go away. That happens sometimes. It's called death! ( melodramatic chords ) Toodles! I need a doctor. And whom is it doth seek the wizard's help this day? A guy with a sword through his head. Ta-da! ( armor clanking ) Will you sit down and be quiet? I've heard of loud suits But this is ridiculous. What's the problem? I can't sleep. Are you a knight? Yes. Are you a good knight? Yes. What you need is a good night's sleep! Ta-da! Anything else? I got this headache. Is it a sharp, stabbing pain? Yes. Like you got a sword through your head? Yes, what is it? I haven't the faintest idea. Ta-da! Sounds like stress. What do you do? I joust dragons And I rescue damsels in distress. Dat's not a dress-- Dat's a suit of armor. Ta-da! Get out of here! The dragons aren't the problem; It's those giant things in the forest. Those crazy things? Yes, what can I do about them? I suggest you take cole porter's advice. You mean...? Yes. ♪ "Joust" one of those things... ♪ Joust one of those crazy things? Ta-ta-ta-da! Says here that there's a traditional remedy For your problem. Oh, good. What is it? Leeches. ( screams ) Or was it talcum powder? Oh... He who can pull the sword free will be the king. Will be the king? ♪ you ain't nothing but a hound dog ♪ ♪ crying all the time ♪ ♪ you ain't never caught a rabbit ♪ ♪ and you ain't no friend of mine! ♪ Yeah! Ta-daaaa! That was a show for the '80s? Sure, the 1380s. ( starts to sneeze ) ( soft sneeze ) Kermit, you should rope yourself To a heavy piece of equipment. Rope myself to... Why? Because some of the monsters Have caught my cold. Which monsters? Mainly the bigger ones. ( monster starts to sneeze ) Aaahhh... Choo! Sorry. ♪ well, I'm stuck on you ♪ ♪ I want you to know ♪ ♪ whatever you do ♪ ♪ wherever you go ♪ ♪ I'll be there to guard you, ♪ ♪ to care for you so ♪ Nothing sticks like band-aid brand's unique adhesive, So nothing protects better against dirt and germs. That's... From... ♪ you know I'm stuck on you ♪ Oei@oqopop Even though everybody seems to be getting sick I think our health and fitness show Is going extremely well. Yoo-hoo, mr. Kermit? It's dr. Bunsen honeydew of muppet labs. What can I do for you? Are you doing a show About health and fitness? Yes. What a perfect time for me To demonstrate my new invention. Let's see it. Thank you. Exercise is often far from the thoughts Of today's busy executive Such as the one portrayed by my lovely assistant, beaker. But neglecting one's exercise is a thing of the past With muppet labs' new exercise-omatic boots. Fax! Set the timer and a gentle chime alerts you That your pre-programmed workout is about to begin. ( timer ticking ) ( loud alarm ) First, the boots warm you up With a series of gentle stretches. To the left... And to the right... Both together... And wide apart. Oohhh!... ( crash ) Then it's time for jogging. Oh! Recognizing the spatial limitations Of the corporate work space The boots are designed to use every open surface As you are about to see. But exercise must never supersede Executive responsibilities. Therefore, the boots stop automatically At the sound of a ringing telephone. ( telephone rings ) Oh, no! ( telephone rings ) ( screams ) Muppet labs' technology for a healthier you. Beaker can't come to the phone right now But leave a message at the sound of the meep. ( meep ) No! Hiya, linky babe. How goes the canaan snout fever? The end is near. That's a shame. Yes, I've been studying the book. Just before the end, the legs go Your snout explodes And then you begin mispronouncing words. Doom, doom, doom... That's dumb, dumb, dumb! Oh, no! I'm mispronouncing words! Help, mommy! And now... Our fitness special continues with a look at nutrition. Cue the health food, joe. ( singing in gibberish ) ( dishes break ) ( speaking gibberish ) Mmm! Yuck! Look at this cake, my friends! It is a dietary nightmare! ( argues in gibberish ) No, no, no! Diet today is all about survival And the cockroach Is the greatest survivor on the planet! I am indestructible! Absolutely indestructible! And why? Because we eat to win. You eat the cheese; we eat the mold. You drink coffee; we eat the coffee grounds. The way of the roach is the way of the future. Now, let me give you a little quiz, okay? You get the nibblies And you reach for a: the peanuts B: the chocolate... Or c: the refrigerator. By choosing "C", you have opted for survival. Question number two: you are on a low-cal diet But you are invited to eat at a nice french restaurant. How do you avoid breaking your dietary rules? ( explosion ) ( speaking gibberish ) And the correct answer is, stay at home and eat linoleum. Bon appetit! Good grief, what a mess. What's the matter, kerm? I'm trying to do this health show And everybody keeps getting sick or injured. It's too bad people don't take A holistic approach to health. How? There are many ways You can protect yourself Against negative influences. See this crystal? It focuses my life force And channels positive attitudes. I could use one of those. Bring your head around here. Really? Right under here. There you go. Wear it in good health. Thank you, clifford. ( hits floor ) Sure, resting is good, too. ( laughs ) I may have fractured a flipper. Cue the story. Way back when the roads were still wiggly And people lived closer to the land A farmer was about to start work When suddenly, he heard an unfamiliar voice. Hey, mr. Farmer-- over here. What was that? It was me, old cabbage head. It gets pretty cold in this field. I was wondering, could you take me home? A talking cabbage! Farmer: I'm home! Cabbage: me, too! Glory be! What's that? It's a talking cabbage-- The greatest miracle the world has ever seen. Don't stand there. Sit him down. I'll put him by the fire. Thanks! You won't regret this! The next day The farmer carefully counted his blessings. One: a talking cabbage. Two: a fine piece of real estate. What was that? Let's face it-- The subdevelopment potential of this property is fantastic. A talking cow! One thing puzzles me-- How come the cabbage gets to live inside? Nice place you got here. We like it. You really like this talking animal stuff. Yes, I think of it as a blessing. Good, then this should make your day. In here, boys. How's it going? How about that cold snap? How about those rams? So during the next few days It seemed that everything in the whole world Had started talking to the farmer. And it seemed to his wife That the farmer had asked everything in the whole world Into their little cottage Until things had come to a head! This is a very bad arrangement. God made houses, and god made barns So that human beings Wouldn't have to live with animals. Ah! So the farmer and his wife did the sensible thing And moved into the barn Where they lived reasonably happy ever after. Our lives were blessed with a miracle. Let's not become ungrateful. Hi, I'm your skirt. Hi, I'm your apron. Hi, I'm your glove. I'm your hat. I'm your blanket! Good story. Oh, gonzo, how's your nose? It's not my nose I'm worried about. It's the chickens. Know what happens When a chicken catches a cold? No, what? ( chicken sneezes ) They don't weigh very much... ( chickens sneezing ) But they have very powerful sneezes. Hey, kermit! Yeah, smokey? Is it my imagination Or is everybody on this show sick? We think it's just sort of a 24-hour flu. I can't wait-- I got a closing number to do. Do you mind working with jet-propelled chickens? That's my favorite way to work! Cue the finale! There's just one thing. What's that? I'm a big link hogthrob fan. We could use him on this closing number. Link: closing number? I'm sorry, but link is really sick. Aren't you, link? It's a miracle! Hey, I work with miracles! Okay, take it away, smokey. ♪ jump! ♪ ♪ for my love ♪ ♪ jumping! ♪ ♪ and feel my touch ♪ ♪ jump! ♪ ♪ if you want to taste my kisses in the night, baby ♪ ♪ jump, jump for my love! ♪ ♪ jump! ♪ ♪ I know my heart can make you happy ♪ ♪ jumping! ♪ ( ♪ gibberish ♪ ) ♪ jump! ♪ ♪ if you want to feel my kisses in the night, baby ♪ ♪ jump, jump for my love! ♪ ♪ you told me ♪ ♪ I'm the only woman for you ♪ ♪ nobody does it like I do ♪ ♪ don't move before you try and go much further ♪ ♪ oh, baby ♪ ♪ you are the one, you are the one ♪ ♪ and heaven's right here at my door ♪ ♪ and if you want more ♪ ♪ if you want more, more, mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-more ♪ ♪ then jump! ♪ This kind of high-energy music brings it all back. Your youth? No, my lunch. ( laughing ) ♪ jump, jump for my love! ♪ ♪ jump! ♪ ♪ I know my heart can make you happy ♪ ♪ jumping! ♪ ♪ you know these arms, they can fill you up ♪ ♪ jump! ♪ ♪ if you want to taste my kisses in the night, babe ♪ ♪ jump, jump for my love! ♪ ♪ when I am next to you ♪ ♪ oh, I come alive ♪ ♪ love burns in my heart ♪ ♪ jump! ♪ ♪ you know my heart can make you happy ♪ ♪ jump! ♪ ♪ you know these arms can fill you up ♪ ♪ jumping! ♪ ♪ if you want to taste my kisses in the night, babe ♪ ♪ jump, jump for my love! ♪ ♪ jump! ♪ That's our show for tonight, so good... ( sneezes ) Good grief! ♪ jump, jump, jump! ♪ ♪ jump, jump for my love... ♪ Well, that's finished! So am I. ( laughs ) Beau loves whiskas Like nothing else He's ever tried. The very first time we tried it Beau loved it. What a difference. I wish we had known about it earlier Because he would've been eating it His whole life.  " ]@ Tonight's story is visually stunning And has a lovely script by david young. It's called "The song of the cloud forest." ( chirping song ) I can't believe How you just puff up and do that! You got to use the abdominals, wilf. The abdominals, yeah. Listen. Hmm? What? For a second there I thought I heard her. What does she sound like, milton? It's the most beautiful song In the rain forest-- Kind of husky and wistful. Husky and wistful? Hey, you got to be a golden toad. Do you think she'll answer you? All I can do is hope. And practice my mating call Until, one day I smell her musky perfume on the breeze. ( sniffs ) ( chirping ) Maybe if I join you... ( raucous calling ) ( two calls alternating, more beginning ) ( percussion ) ( animals' calling becomes music ) ( three-note melody ) ( melody modulated ) ( repeats last ) ( melody ) ( repeats ) ( modulated ) ( repeats ) ( melody expanded ) ( crunch ) ( music stops ) Jack? Did you hear music? Music? That's just mother nature clearing her throat. Really-- I heard what I heard. Hey-- it's music to my ears, too. I love this little spot. I think they might cut all of this down. Sometimes this place makes me feel Like I'm in church. Tell me about it. Do you think there are any golden toads left In this cloud forest? Mr. Toad is not only endangered; He's virtually extinct. Oh, no! Don't go all blue, blanche. The uprights don't know anything. Quiet! If we're ever going to get a male specimen This is the place. This is the only spot I've ever heard one singing. Let's check the trap we set yesterday. Ay-yi-yi! Did you hear What the uprights said about milton? Virtually extinct. Who, miss blanche? I think someone should at least tell him. If milton is really doomed What good does telling him do? Yes-- all the little guy ever talks about Is how lonely he's feeling. You're absolutely right. That kind of news might put him right over the top. We've got to do something Or the uprights will capture him! Excuse me, miss chameleon. You're starting to throb. Quetzal You're good with bad news; Go up and talk with him. But what does one say? Give him the straight goods. And tell him... We love him. Nice color, blanche. Endangered? They've come to capture you Before you disappear completely. Oh, no! I knew I was rare. You don't sing an unanswered mating song for five years Without twigging to that. But endangered? Virtually extinct-- their words. Virtually extinct? ( crying ) We want you to know That we love you, milton. Milton, the last golden toad-- I can't stand it... Hey, come on, wilf-- Later with the tears, all right? But I'm going to miss you. But I'm not extinct yet. Why should I believe them? Maybe they're wrong. Maybe these woods are teeming with females. Why hasn't one of them answered your mating song? Well... Maybe I'm in the wrong spot. That's got to be it! I've been sitting up here in the treetops Waiting for them to come to me. Come on! Let's go. Go where? Wilf, concentrate! To the forest floor. I got to get down there And get my act together. Talk to Your friends, milton. Good idea. Hang on. Why didn't I see it coming? Here I am, five years without a date. Don't blame yourself, milton. It's not a question of blame; I'm just no mentally prepared for extinction. Milton: I just know there are females out there. Maybe there's some problem with my song. I mean, I am self-taught. The only problem is if you sing The uprights will catch you. Yes. You should just roll up in a tight ball And hide under a big rock. He may be a golden toad but he's not yellow. Here's the point, guys: It's a sing-or-die situation. If I was you, I'd sing right now. Hey, guys... No, he mustn't! Sing! Sing! No! This is not helpful! You got to sing. No, it could be suicide. Wait! Whenever a creature disappears It affects all of us. Quetzal is right. Remember what happened When we lost the ruby-tailed hummingbird? It's bingo-bango- bongo, brother-- One good-bye leads to another. Right down the line. It will be like that if you disappear, milton. Milton's paradise lost-- forever. Oh, I've just got to find a mate. It looks like our female didn't attract any boyfriends. Maybe she's been in captivity for so long She's forgotten what to do. No way-- she's giving off Her scent molecules right now. But why doesn't she sing? Don't worry-- If there's another golden toad here She'll sing. I hope so. This whole thing Makes me feel very uncomfortable. So what will you do, milton? I guess I'll just have to go Where no toad has gone before-- Find someplace where I can sing my song Without having to worry about the uprights. Uh... And... ( sniffs ) Do you smell what I smell? I know-- Nick's about to shed his skin. I beg your pardon? Female! There's a female golden toad, and... She's headed this way! Are you sure? Of course-- I've waited all my life for this. How do I look? Kind of slimy, actually. Thank goodness. Quick, baby-- do your song. ( chirps golden toad song ) All I'm trying to say is I've never felt good About putting creatures in cages. In this case, what option do we have? If we want to save the golden toad We have to capture a male... Shhh! It's a male. ( milton singing ) And he's close. ( milton singing ) ( hooting call ) ( milton singing ) Sounding good, milton. ( hooting ) That's an alarm call. What's wrong? Uprights, and they're closing fast! Everybody-- fade in! ( singing ) Milton, stop-- the uprights will capture you! Talk about magic moments-- she's getting closer. ( milton chirps ) He's just up ahead. Somebody do something! Aaah! Oh! Aah! Quick, come help me look. They've got a female! I have to meet her. ( muffled ) ♪ a double pleasure's waiting for you ♪ ♪ a double pleasure from doublemint gum ♪ ♪ that double great feeling ♪ ♪ making you realize ♪ ♪ doublemint's the one for you ♪ ♪ double fresh ♪ ♪ double smooth ♪ ♪ double delicious to chew ♪ ♪ a double pleasure's waiting for you ♪ ♪ doublemint gum ♪ ♪ a double pleasure's waiting for you ♪ ♪ doublemint gum. ♪ ♪ well, kentucky fried chicken's ♪ ♪ got a great new summer deal, now ♪ ♪ you get a 10-piece bucket and more ♪ ♪ for a great summer meal, now ♪ Kentucky fried chicken's summer fun pack meal. Ten pieces of original recipe chicken... ♪ fun, fun, fun with kentucky fried chicken today ♪ ...Plus large cole slaw, mashed potatoes with gravy, And four buttermilk biscuits. The summer fun pack. At a cool, low price! ♪ fun, fun, fun with kentucky fried chicken today ♪ ♪ my toyota ♪ When it comes to roominess, The 1989 toyota camry Will make you sit down and take notice. It's spacious and comfortable. Best of al The camry gives you toyota quality And room with a great view. ♪ my toyota ♪ ♪ I love it ♪ @çúú Milton: looks like they're gone. Look what they left behind! Whoa! A gorgeous female was in here. Be careful, milton! Oh, that musky perfume. Let's go find the others before the uprights come back.  okay, now we just gently press the female scent glands Right behind the ear hole, like that. There, see? That didn't hurt, did it? There we go. Ah... Now we've got that male surrounded By scented traps. I wish I was sure about all this. Come on, let's go get something to eat. Watch your step here. I just can't stand the thought of milton behind bars. Wilf's on the case, blanche. Relax. You're really starting to clash. Uh... Nick, you know I can't hide my feelings When I'm upset. ♪ when the red, red robin ♪ ♪ comes bob-bob-bobbing along... ♪ Yoo-hoo! Ralph robin! What a surprise! Must be that time of year. Hey, hey, mr. Springtime is back! ♪ I'm just a kid again, doing what I did again ♪ ♪ singing a song. ♪ ♪ because the red, red robin is a-bob-bob-bobbing along. ♪ Milton: I'm not in the mood for ralph and his razzmatazz. Come on-- he might cheer us up. It's like the whole valley is changing or something. Funny, we were just talking about that the other day. The uprights are making a major movement here. Hey, did I notice-- The whole valley is a smoldering ruin! Yeah, all you hear down there is chain saws. And the uprights say poor milton is Headed for extinction. Hey, miltie! Extinction-- tough patooties! Hey, I'm not extinct yet. The uprights are holding a female hostage And I'm going to rescue her. You'd better stay out of it. What? Yeah! I know these uprights. A couple of million of them live around my tree up north. And? Maybe they got big plans. O@ I've never understood what the uprights actually do With all the rain forest they cut down. Good question. Yes-- what do they do with it? Uh... Do with it? Well, actually, as far as I know They... They eat it! Eat it? Eat it? Eat it? Eat it? ♪ you wouldn't believe me ♪ ♪ what I tell you to be true, my friends ♪ ♪ you wouldn't believe me ♪ ♪ what they through and do us to, my friends ♪ ♪ you wouldn't believe your eyes ♪ ♪ the sights'll send you reeling ♪ ♪ you wouldn't believe your eyes ♪ ♪ the things they find appealing ♪ ♪ why, just the other day in the supermarket line ♪ ♪ had a special of the week and you were on the sign ♪ ♪ they don't stop chomping ♪ ♪ while they're romping through their 'frigerators ♪ ♪ armadillo, lagargator-- ♪ ♪ some for now and some for later. ♪ ♪ they're all out there munching forests ♪ ♪ ♪ what they don't know sure can harm us ♪ ♪ Ralph: ♪ they got big mouths and overgrown incisors ♪ ♪ gigantic dining rooms just for appetizers ♪ ♪ they got-- ♪ ♪ parmesan ♪ ♪ golden toads a la mode ♪ ♪ anaconda primavera ♪ ♪ elephante a la carte ♪ ♪ buffalo barbecue ♪ ♪ howler monkey casseroule ♪ ♪ diet panda ♪ ♪ teriyaki ♪ ♪ mountain zebra shish kebab ♪ ♪ asian lion angel food ♪ ♪ parakeet fricassee ♪ ♪ wild yak au gratin ♪ ♪ quetzal sticks under glass ♪ ♪ ♪ they're all out there munching forests ♪ ♪ ♪ what they don't know sure can harm us ♪ ♪ ♪ I'm telling you word, my friend ♪ ♪ it isn't getting better ♪ ♪ I'm telling you true now, we're all in this together ♪ ♪ we better be careful lest we wind up on a silver platter ♪ ♪ dipped in batter, slim or fatter ♪ ♪ doesn't faze them, doesn't matter. ♪ ♪ they're all out there munching forests ♪ ♪ ♪ they're all out there munching forests ♪ ♪ ♪ they're all out there munching forests... ♪ I had no idea they were so bloodthirsty. You'd be a instant hors d'oeuvre, miltie. There's no hope; we're powerless. The uprights will do whatever they want. They do tend to control the flow of events. Where are you going? I want to be alone for a while. But you've never left your tree at night. It's dangerous down here. Easy, wilf. He needs to sort this out himself. Extinction... I guess when things get this bad There's no point in feeling or thinking anything. ( roar ) Why worry? If things can't get any worse no matter what you do... Why bother doing anything? But if I don't do anything at all, then... Oh, it's no use. The arguments just keep going around in circles. If only there were some way to rescue her. We'd settle down and fill these treetops with baby toads. ♪ there was a time when life was free ♪ ♪ I used to smile so easily ♪ ♪ but the time has come where I just don't see ♪ ♪ a reason ♪ ♪ ♪ and the moon is melting out of the sky ♪ ♪ dipping into the water so blue ♪ ♪ we understand, the moon and I ♪ ♪ 'cause blue is a feeli, too ♪ ♪ there was a time when life was grand ♪ ♪ who could have known what life had planned? ♪ ♪ as the world rolls along, more and more I see... ♪ ♪ there just isn't any more for me. ♪ I guess it's too late for happy endings now. Care to bet on it? Relax, I don't eat toads. What do you want from me? I'm an elder. Perhaps I can help you. Nobody can help me now. According to the uprights I'm about to disappear. We were here long before the uprights came. We may be here long after they're gone. But I'm the one on the verge of extinction. What do I do? Listen to your heart. Why to my heart? Your heart connects you to all living things. What do I do? Nothing will change Until the uprights learn to listen. But... Stand your ground. Help them learn to listen. Help them learn to listen? Listen to what? All I know is one dinky little song. ( sighs ) Still-- it's worth a try. ( begins song ) ( other animals join in with their own songs ) Looks like he sprung this one. He's picked up her scent. Thattaboy! Oh, no! Poor milton, he just can't help himself. His song never sounded so beautiful. ( singing ) Oh, listen to her. Yeah, it's working like a charm. She'll call him right in. ( singing ) This whole thing is breaking my heart. These defenseless little creatures. Never mind your heart. We've got ourselves a male. This is looking very bad. And sounding very good. The whole forest is joining in. ( all singing ) I've never heard anything like this. It's as if the entire rain forest is trying To tell us something. Beautiful. We can't do this. What? It's not just one species at risk It's everyone-- it's us! ( milton singing ) What are you doing? I'm letting her go. What? She belongs here. Louise! That may be the last golden toad we ever see. Not if we let nature take its course. You're something else, you know that? ( sigh ) Uh... Hi. Hello. Uh... ( gulp ) Th-th-the name is milton. Milton? What a lovely name. I'm ruth. Oh, ruth is a very pretty name, too. Uh... Look, I'm not good At this aspect of the courting ritual. I've been alone a lot. Me, too. Cooped up in one tree... Was yours a mahogany? Oh, yes, mahogany, absolutely-- For stability and comfort. And that bark fungus That attracts the speckled dragonflies? Oh, I keep a huge garden! Six kinds of bark fungus! It's nice to meet someone who appreciates fungus. Yes-- and so many creatures don't. Folks who use tartar control crest Have a few things to say about their cleanings. ♪ s'wonderful ♪ Great! ♪ s'marvelous ♪ That's it? ♪ that you should care ♪ Beautiful! ♪ for me ♪ Because dental cleanings are easier With tartar control crest. ♪ s'awful nice ♪ Yeah! ♪ s'paradise ♪ Whoo! ♪ s'what I love to see ♪ So use the toothpaste more dentists recommend. ♪ s'wonderful ♪ ♪ it's wonderful ♪ Tartar control crest-- the dentists' choice. It's hard on tartar, easy on you. All right! Heinz ketchup... It's so rich... So thick... Why waste time with anything else? Heinz ketchup. The best things come to those who wait. The reason milton is endangered Is that our rain forests are disappearing. Did you know that? It matters to guys like this. It matters to guys like us, too. Hmm? You're wearing a tie-- that's terrific. Means we can go to a nice restaurant for a change. We'll see you next week. __NOWYSIWYG__ Category:Jim Henson Hour Transcripts